relationship anxiety – Page 2

Marriage is a living thing

I was talking to a friend the other day and he pointed to a flower in his garden. He said they had planted the flower and they thought that it had immediately died. But in the spring it sprouted and climbed the fence and bloomed these amazing unexpected blooms! We went over to see itContinue reading “Marriage is a living thing”

Only 20 minutes brought tons of triggers

Are these ridiculous things to be triggered by? I show up with Chick-fil-a and kiss her. She says, oh you taste salty. I mumble, “probably the fries.” We sit down and she digs into the bag and sees the chick-fil-A sauce and says, “Oh I bet this is what I tasted.” I replied, a littleContinue reading “Only 20 minutes brought tons of triggers”

Hack: hope for triggers

So I was trying to do some ERP by looking at old photos and videos of B. And surprisingly it was becoming more and more difficult for me to get triggered! And I realized that part of the reason that I get triggered so easily is because I’m scared of her saying something that willContinue reading “Hack: hope for triggers”

Getting a house

I think I write in here mostly when things get hard. We have had some really good days like when I picked her up from the airport and the few days after. It was fun and I felt peace and we were so close and I was grateful. But then days come that are difficultContinue reading “Getting a house”

Routine of Good Thoughts

So I felt like God has been growing me to be the type that is in control of my thoughts. Because that will have to be absolutely essential to make this survivable. My friend had told me about how John Gottman says to reprogram your brain by stating 5 good things you like about theContinue reading “Routine of Good Thoughts”

God: I will not take my ring from you

So on that night we repented for crossing sexual boundaries over the past couple of months, B led me through some “spiritual healing.” She had said, I think a lot of your hangups with me have to do with your dad, and your dad’s perspective of your mom (I had told her my mom didn’tContinue reading “God: I will not take my ring from you”

Why didn’t you get that?

I was doing okay today. We planned out our mornings so we each did our quiet time separately, did some exercise, watched a sermon together and really had a good discussion about a scripture from the sermon. We watched a show a friend had suggested to us (Virgin River) and I made relentless fun ofContinue reading “Why didn’t you get that?”

Is it supposed to be this hard?

Within half an hour of getting to her house I stepped out of the bathroom and told her, “I just don’t understand why sometimes everything you say from the moment I see you just feels discordant to me.” I just didn’t like the way she told me about her day. The way she presented herContinue reading “Is it supposed to be this hard?”

A Disappointing Proposal

After two years of me volleying back and forth, my girlfriend said “by December 30th, you need to give me a final decision.” We had an awesome time in the mountains with my family for Christmas (I managed to let a few things like how she sounded dumb when talking to others not take controlContinue reading “A Disappointing Proposal”