Uncategorized – Page 4 – Relationship-OCD

Tips that have helped-talking to myself

Our couple’s counselor has taught me to talk to myself. When I identify something in me raising concern or fear, I talk to that part of me. “Hey buddy, what do you need from me now? Or, “Hey big guy, what are you scared of right now?” And more than the response I get, IContinue reading “Tips that have helped-talking to myself”

Tips that seem to help- remembering good memories

I realized I should write here what has helped me the most. Number one tool: forcing myself to remember the good things. This usually snaps me out of my feelings of dread. I started sending B 5 things I like about her every night. And the simple act of reminding myself of those things makesContinue reading “Tips that seem to help- remembering good memories”

Fun then tons disappointment

Yesterday was fun, and we worked together well to get a sweet dinner, do some shoppoing for a friend’s anniversary surprise for his wife, and making out a lot in her bed. But this morning I got up at like 7am and did exercises and my prayers. And even when I went back after thatContinue reading “Fun then tons disappointment”

Is it supposed to feel this wrong sometimes?

I just got done with small group with B. And since the moment I got there everything she said seem to shut me down or I feared was going to be something that would shut me down. She got her cute little goddaughter a balloon and an invitation that she couldn’t even open and couldn’tContinue reading “Is it supposed to feel this wrong sometimes?”

IKEA dates always win

I was feeling heavy from this all day. After getting up at B’s house and having her say like 4 things that I disliked, I got into a really dark mood. I was not feeling love. It was a feeling more like frustration or maybe even almost disgust. I watched a TV show about theContinue reading “IKEA dates always win”

Closeness after disappointment

After writing how hard it has been since I proposed a day and a half ago, I realized that usually when I stay over we sleep not touching. But last night we were connected the whole night. I think sometimes when we’re struggling the most, we cling most deeply to the connection we can make.

Rotten day after proposal

This is really hard. I proposed to B on Saturday. Sunday was disappointing. And today I’m just really unhappy. Is this because the relationship is not right or something? Or is this just living with rOCD? She has been sweet the whole time but she just says stuff that drives me crazy. I prayed thatContinue reading “Rotten day after proposal”

Choosing Good thoughts

Tomorrow I propose to B. But every morning this week I wake up with negative thoughts of her. Things she said or the way she said it that bothers me. I have to choose joy. I focus on things I like and it usually helps. I focus on enjoying my breath and it feels better.Continue reading “Choosing Good thoughts”

Triggered by Rock Climbing

Well, later that night we were having a wonderful time driving together and shopping. Then we went to a nice Tapas restaurant and were kind and fun and working as a team the whole time. But her tone was a little bit ditzy and it just gave me this ever present unsettled feeling. I triedContinue reading “Triggered by Rock Climbing”

Triggered by a Kids Book

It’s two days from when I’m going to propose and I’ve woken up every day this week with this heaviness. This unease. Am I supposed to feel so unsettled? The first things that rush into my head are things she said that I don’t like. That’s not even natural; why would I think about thatContinue reading “Triggered by a Kids Book”