Only 20 minutes brought tons of triggers

Are these ridiculous things to be triggered by? I show up with Chick-fil-a and kiss her. She says, oh you taste salty. I mumble, “probably the fries.” We sit down and she digs into the bag and sees the chick-fil-A sauce and says, “Oh I bet this is what I tasted.” I replied, a littleContinue reading “Only 20 minutes brought tons of triggers”

Starting medication: not a fix all

It’s been two and a half weeks since my personal doctor prescribed Citolopram (Xelexa) which is a typical OCD medication. He said it was fairly harmless, and we could just try it out for 4 weeks. It gave some interesting side effects (tight feeling in my abdomen and jaw, little bit of dizziness at times,Continue reading “Starting medication: not a fix all”

A bad thought gathers other Bad thoughts

A negative thought that leads to a negative attitude is a lot more dangerous than just a negative thought. This is because, at least for me, a negative attitude tends to scan back through other events and remind me of other things and make them negative. Whether it be angry thoughts, disappointed thoughts, vindictive thoughts,Continue reading “A bad thought gathers other Bad thoughts”

Some thoughts are true but not helpful

I had the realization recently that yes, there are some regrettable truths, but these thoughts are not helpful to think. For example, if I remember something that seems to say B is unintelligent, if I am committed to her it does more harm than good to ruminate on it. So in summary, some thoughts areContinue reading “Some thoughts are true but not helpful”

Hack: hope for triggers

So I was trying to do some ERP by looking at old photos and videos of B. And surprisingly it was becoming more and more difficult for me to get triggered! And I realized that part of the reason that I get triggered so easily is because I’m scared of her saying something that willContinue reading “Hack: hope for triggers”