So since this is an anonymous blog I can talk about things that most people with an identity attached can’t talk about. So I can tell you about what it was like to have real sex for the full-time first time for two virgins after getting married. After a week we’ve still struggled to haveContinue reading “First time having sex”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
We got married!
So she was beautiful at the wedding but I really didn’t like much of what she said or did during The wedding or the reception. During the sermon the things she nodded at or harmed her affirmation to just made me think she barely understood whether meaning behind what was said was or the nuances.Continue reading “We got married!”
Only 20 minutes brought tons of triggers
Are these ridiculous things to be triggered by? I show up with Chick-fil-a and kiss her. She says, oh you taste salty. I mumble, “probably the fries.” We sit down and she digs into the bag and sees the chick-fil-A sauce and says, “Oh I bet this is what I tasted.” I replied, a littleContinue reading “Only 20 minutes brought tons of triggers”
Starting medication: not a fix all
It’s been two and a half weeks since my personal doctor prescribed Citolopram (Xelexa) which is a typical OCD medication. He said it was fairly harmless, and we could just try it out for 4 weeks. It gave some interesting side effects (tight feeling in my abdomen and jaw, little bit of dizziness at times,Continue reading “Starting medication: not a fix all”
A bad thought gathers other Bad thoughts
A negative thought that leads to a negative attitude is a lot more dangerous than just a negative thought. This is because, at least for me, a negative attitude tends to scan back through other events and remind me of other things and make them negative. Whether it be angry thoughts, disappointed thoughts, vindictive thoughts,Continue reading “A bad thought gathers other Bad thoughts”
Some thoughts are true but not helpful
I had the realization recently that yes, there are some regrettable truths, but these thoughts are not helpful to think. For example, if I remember something that seems to say B is unintelligent, if I am committed to her it does more harm than good to ruminate on it. So in summary, some thoughts areContinue reading “Some thoughts are true but not helpful”
Hack: hope for triggers
So I was trying to do some ERP by looking at old photos and videos of B. And surprisingly it was becoming more and more difficult for me to get triggered! And I realized that part of the reason that I get triggered so easily is because I’m scared of her saying something that willContinue reading “Hack: hope for triggers”
Getting meds
I had an appointment with my general doctor today and told him about my OCD. He said lets try an SSRI which is used to help solve depression. In face he said when research showed that OCD was helped by the same medication as depression was, they put the ailments in a similar category. SoContinue reading “Getting meds”
Getting a house
I think I write in here mostly when things get hard. We have had some really good days like when I picked her up from the airport and the few days after. It was fun and I felt peace and we were so close and I was grateful. But then days come that are difficultContinue reading “Getting a house”
A hack- change the narrative
Okay so for the last couple of hangouts, I’ve tried something that seems to have changed the game. I’m changing the narrative. The narrative that was previously playing in my head was that I would date and marry a woman who was super sharp and a little bit coy and clever and nuanced as wellContinue reading “A hack- change the narrative”
Relationship-OCD 