I talked with a friend of mine who is in his 60s and got divorced three years ago. He talked about things that he’s just learning that I already knew, whether it be through my church community or through Counseling or through friends. So I thought it worth stating these things so that others won’t fall into the trap of not knowing them.
Number one is don’t be afraid of counseling. It’s no longer uncool to do counseling. in fact I think among my friends if you aren’t in counseling they think maybe you are denying something that you need. It’s like having a doctor. You need those guys and gals.
The second one is just get good at talking about just about everything with your spouse. Talk about what you like and don’t like in sex. Talk about your feelings and why you feel that way. Do these things in a non-judgmental way. The bond it can create by just being transparent makes a place that you can grow from. Bring things into the light. There are some things not worth talking about like maybe the other girl that you thought was hot when she walked by or what you don’t like about your wife. but transparency about most things in a very humble way, assuming that you may be wrong and stating that these are just my feelings not blaming you, gives a platform for understanding and growth.