So I was trying to do some ERP by looking at old photos and videos of B. And surprisingly it was becoming more and more difficult for me to get triggered! And I realized that part of the reason that I get triggered so easily is because I’m scared of her saying something that will trigger me. But when I went into it with Hope and trying to get triggered, the fear was not there and so the trigger was not as inflammatory.
So how could I convince myself to hope for a trigger? Well if I was using it for a purpose, to practice the ERP and let the anxiety fade, there is a reason to want the trigger. So when I hope for and want a trigger it loses its power that the fear would have given it! I’m still trying this out but maybe this in combination with the other things I’ve learned, it seems could have a big impact!
R, 3/25/21
Relationship-OCD 