Our couple’s counselor has taught me to talk to myself. When I identify something in me raising concern or fear, I talk to that part of me.
“Hey buddy, what do you need from me now?
Or, “Hey big guy, what are you scared of right now?”
And more than the response I get, I think the action of paying it attention diminishes the volume of the fuss it throws.
The counselor usually asks, how old is that voice? And the most recent time I said he seems about 11 years old. About the time I really started trying to make the girls I liked, like me. Oh, the desire and hope I held.
And B falls short of the ideal I once hoped in. She is amazing but there is this one thing that I focus on, that seems vastly disappointing of the ideal. And it causes me much consternation.
But speaking to the dissenting voice in me seems to help.